I cannot explain who I am other than boyfriend, brother, and son. Labels that have been put upon me. One I put upon myself and the others, put upon me by others. i want to be the best of each of these three things but sometimes I feel as if there is no way to live up to the expectations that I have made for myself.
I love her with all of my heart and I can tell that we are going to be together forever if we work at it but it could be torn apart if one of us makes the mistake of just sitting back and not working for us. We have something that is just amazing and I cannot believe that I have her. She is the best thing for me now and forever. No other relationship I have ever had could ever live up to this. We are SO close and good together. I have promised over and over that I would give this relationship my all and I really feel like I will but it kills me when I think that maybe she could give up one day. But it is funny that right after I have thoughts like this I look down at my left hand where my promise ring from her is, feel complete and do not have any fear. I wonder if it is just cause I am a teenager or what but sometimes I feel as if everyone is against her and I. Like there is a big conspiracy against us and it doesn't help that my older brother says that I am whipped by her. They act like I have no control of my life because she controls me and I am so blinded by her that I do not see it... Actually I can see that i may be a little but is that wrong at all? She has influenced me a lot but not to the point that I can say that I have made life decisions because of her. I have made the promise to stay with her forever and I will make sure that happens. I just love her SO much.
I have been labeled a brother and son by everyone and i love it but sometimes I would like to remind them what their labels are, like: sister, mother and brother. I should not be the only one must be the source of happiness in our house. I feel like I have to wear a smile all the time and when I do not everyone is pissed... like seriously guys. when you are upset I have to put up with it. Well you cannot pick family and I wouldn't pick anyone else but it is hard to live with the though.
Labels are hard to get through and past but hopefully they are seen as good labels by everyone later on. Idk, sorry if this doesn't make any sense.
Daniel Kardos
